It is said
The life our living leaves to live at our leaving,
Is the life that lives after we leave!
I haven’t shed a tear in awhile
I thought it was because I was becoming stronger more aware
of the game of life and all it side dishes.
but I have realized its not,
I‘ve been running away from my pain
And ignoring the facts…
I came across an old writing of mine, (I never kept a journal, I just dropped the heavy weights on little scraps of paper as I moved along) something I wrote many years back (12 years?)from a tough relationship and cant believe it still hunts my present….
What is trust?
who to trust?
How do you accept living a lie?
How do you accept the truth?
To not be accepted,
To be found wanting
What is trust?
who to trust?
Frustration’s brought my knees to the earth’s crust,
Wishes to read the other’s thoughts.
I’m confused, don’t know what to think anymore.
Can’t talk cause I don’t want to rock the boat
Yet I'm seeing differences in whats said and what I can see.
Yet not even the slightest show of concern from “the better half!”
It just states its “facts” and forgets about what anybody else is concerned about.
After that anything I say will be me gearing for a fight!
All I want is for it to be explained to me,
Now I keep milling questions,
Yet can’t ask or say what I feel.
Lord give me strength…
This is the song Iv seen.
What do I do
for I know not what to do.
I don’t want to educe hurt
But keeping mum hurts me.
Am I a fool?
meek at heart?
Blessed or cursed?
Lord all I have is commitment.
